Jollies
by CutewithAcapital-Q
Summary: Harry narrates one of Ron and Hermione'e infamous Spats. He thinks he knows their every move. The title Makes very little sense.


Hi I'm alive I swear! I just hate typing and everything I want to post is in a thousand year old journal that needs to be converted into word documents. And I can't help doing things that just pop into my head because usually their short and fun and quasi-relevant to my life. This is a Legitimate fight I witnessed with some HP Goodness sprinkled in, and I wanted to try writing something from first person POV which was fun but hard oddly enough.

Home. There is nothing I love more then sinking into my favorite chair at the end of the day and read my Quidditch Quarterly with the best friend there could be, Ron Weasley.

"I'm Home!" Until that happens. Not that I don't love my other best friend, Hermione, but that greeting signals the start of the daily late matinee staring Ron & Hermione. After 12 years of the same basic lay out the show will get tedious. There's little they could do that would surprise me. It starts out innocent enough, Hermione comes into the room looking cold (It is a chilling day in November) and makes a bee line for her Red headed significant other. She seats herself close to him, and puts her arms snugly around him, to his surprise. This is the point where I secretly am crossing my fingers, and pray to the fates Ron will keep his mouth shut.

"Well Hello. Come to cuddle with me I see." Bugger, he spoke. True what he said is hardly noteworthy, but what really matters is her reply. She looks up into his eyes and I silently hope she will just say, "Yes Ronald My love, I have come to snuggle with you on the couch, because I missed you so dreadfully today and I never want to be apart from you again." ...Alright so she'd never say that…no one would say that, but anything's better than whatever she's actually going to say, because Hermione is never one to generally agree. She's too precise. So instead she states:

"I'm Cold." Welcome to the war Zone.

"Oh so you're just sitting with me because I'm warm?"

"Well if it were just Harry, I'd probably go upstairs and get a blanket."

"Great now I'm your living excuse for a comforter, I am?"

"No! Would you get your head out of your arse and listen to me!"

Now the argument has shifted dramatically from light banter back and forth to indiscernible screeches overlapping one another. Through the years I have acquired the skill of understand what each are saying separately. Ron has been riled up and ranting about how Hermione never listens to him, and how she can be so inconsiderate. Hermione's making a list of the things Ron's done lately that have completely disregarded her. I must also mention that despite this they are still huddled cozily together, their faces are just inches away barking at one another. Now this sounds bad, but really these spats hardly ever bring about drastic ramifications, from past experience this could lead to A) Snogging B) No Snogging for a day then endless make up Snogging or C) Hermione will conjure a brick to slam in Ron's face...Wait no that a cartoon I watched at the Dursley's once. Never mind, I have to stay sharp for what's coming.

Depending on the subject of the fight in about ten seconds one of them will remember I'm sitting across the room and try to make me useful to their side but if they don't look at me I'm free to watch.

Today this is a couple-centered issue so neither feels the need to drag me into it. Not that I really participate, usually one asks my opinion I stutter not wanting side with anyone, but in any case one will declare I side with them and I receive a dirty look from the other.

But for now I'm safe and can tune out the quarrel and return to Quidditch. Then in the escalating drama Hermione shouts something like, "I don't even know why we bother-"

Then in all my stupidity my subconscious moves my mouth with a mutter, "Neither do I…." the room cuts to silence. Shite!

"What?" Ron spits at me. Well, while I have their attention.

"I hope you both realize how useless this argument is. Hermione, can you please just tell Ron you love him, because it's true and it's all he actually wants to hear. And Ron, we both know Hermione's too logical for her own good anyhow, which is why _you_ love _her_. Now would you please kiss make up and act like two adults in a committed relationship, and stop being so bloody irritating!"

Moment of truth, the entwined couple glance at each other in a strange agreement. And then—"Who asked you anyway." Their both giving me a dirty look, which has a nice silver lining, I've united them against a common enemy, me. And so I take my leave, but I will continue to eavesdrop in the hall.

"Who does he think he is?" Ron said

"What nerve."

"We bicker all the time you'd think he'd get used to it."

"Was he right?"

"Hmm, 'bout what?"

"About being adults."

"We are adults, and what the hell does Harry know about being in a relationship, his girlfriends on the other side of the continent." Remind me to hex Ron later, and floo Ginny.

"What about the bickering that's so 'bloody irritating'?"

"Seriously, that's our thing." Ron says feeling as though he's stating the obvious, "If we didn't fight every now and again, I'd think there was something seriously wrong. Not to mention, I think we've had some marvelous quarrels over the years," He's trying to make a joke now I can tell as the room goes silent for a moment then he will pick up again, "Alright not so many great spats as absolutely ridiculous ones. We can't help it if we love to argue. In Any case, Harry shouldn't even talk I get the feeling sometimes our fights give him just as much satisfaction as us." As if!

"He does seem keen on hanging around sometimes when he could very easily get out of the room…" Hey, discussing my habits is not on the agenda, they act like they never done this before.

"Strange bloke he is."

"You love to fight with me?"

"My favorites pass time…y'know right up there with Chess and Quidditch. What don't you?"

"I love you." What did I tell you nothing if not precise. Queue the Snogging…Now. Just around the corner to make sure I'm ri—

"AHH!" I have turned the corner and they are not on the couch but standing just beside the entry way, apparently waiting for me.

"What did I tell Hermione twisted little git gets his jollies listening to us fight," Ron is shaking his head with disapproval, and Hermione is simply laughing.

I hate them….I need new friends...

So what did you think? Please Do tell.


End file.
